Desiring Interviews ◊ Marivi Gazeta

◊ How does your desire relate with your dear ones?

   In numerous different ways and I’d say mainly by contradiction and/or in synthesis. As an object of someone’s desire, as if I’m the one reflecting my desire upon someone or an observer. If we share the same I can sense the power and I am trying to be cautious in terms of how I’m projecting and receiving this energy. 

    I’m trying to be careful of the extremes, If I’m attached (attachment=suffering oh, dear) or in defence. The energy produced of desire’s circulation can be transforming in an evolving creative way and as well in painful and damaging ways. I am learning a lot by putting or failing to put boundaries. It is extremely revealing what people want from you, for both sides.

     Somewhere I’ve read that (romantic) love is the need we have to give our desire narration, I would agree until a certain point and I could use it to create this paradigm, a love story could be a cheap erotica novel, a cyber punk masterpiece or a study in narcissistic personality disorder. What kind of story do you want to write with your desires? Like when writing a book, I suppose you have to be very clear about your theme, not that in the process, like in any creative process, there won’t be surprises and changes, but you could save some paper and precious time if your intention is clear.

    Same approach I’d say more or less in an other occasion when your desire relates with others in a creative way, which is within an artistic process. Apart from common aesthetics, views, ethics, disciplines etc. when all these concrete identities and references can occur often as limitations in an artistic process, a mutual understanding and awareness of our own personal and each other’s desire set the requirements for a more intuitive thus more creative and challenging approach. What do we want, and why? These questions lay at the core of any artistic process.

     An other big topic, how your desires relate with others is how they’re being or not being met within the bigger frame of society. According to culture ethics, politics, religion etc. we can be manipulated by our desires, consuming them while consumed by them, we could be alienated if we follow them, productive but miserable if we suppress them. There is also a link between privilege and being able to fulfil desire. Race, sex(ual orientation), class, educational status, neurodiversity, disabilities etc. shape the way we (are being) perceive(d) and therefore treat desire. Then the responsibility that we carry towards nature, that unbreakable bond which is probably now clearer than ever, while facing the consequences of a destructive irresponsible parasite-like lifestyle, we have caused so much harm and pain, to animals, humane and non, to nature itself, to ourselves in the end.

◊ What bothers you?

    Getting bothered really bothers me but there are some other times I’m really bothered that I am not being bothered when I should be.

◊ What can you do to contribute to the future of the world?

    I’m not familiar with the concept of the future so I don’t really know what to tell you.

◊ What are your limits and what are you absolutely against?

    Because every time I’m checking on my limits I find with great surprise they’re changed, I’m beginning to think they’re constantly changing (for good or for bad). Against? And absolutely against!? I can’t find an answer to this. If I place my self against something I’m losing the ability to observe it from 360 degrees, seems that I am limiting an already limited spectrum.

◊ What are the conditions for the realisation of your artistic practice?

   Intuition. Mutual respect and honesty, or a curious experimental approach on lying.Trust.Space and inspiration to be absolutely ridiculous, yet completely serious about it.

◊ What do you produce?

   Small hurricanes and dust. Unsuccessful metaphors, as you may have noticed already. Noise created with intention only by accident. A lifelong personal study on provoking and overcoming failure. Poetry performances with poems I wrote my self but I refuse to read. Everyday life pseudo-psychotic dance spectacles. Aesthetically astonishing bruises, bad jokes and unused potential.

◊ How do you make money?

   How? Oh, by giving my precious time of course! And my approach is acting pretty much like a bear in hibernation. I wake up and go to work only when it’s necessary. I’m working for an amount of time, I collect some money for the things I need and I want to do and then I stop working. I haven’t found yet a way to make a living the way -I think-I would like to. But working irrelevant jobs, all these different environments and people, has given me lots of interesting views regarding my self and others.

    I have worked as a waitress, a lot, in bars, in shitty or expensive restaurants, at the bar/reception of a brothel, 3x hotel, as a cleaning lady, help for the elderly, modelling for fine arts, assisting movement in theatre workshops, worked with children, washed cars, gas station, delivering food, singing with a band, giving dance classes. I also tried escorting once but I forgot to get paid so I thought that maybe it’s not for me. In whatever environment I found myself into, exciting or excitingly terrible, I have always been firstly an observer, I didn’t get attached to any kind of identity, I was just playing a role. And I was learning (by/from) people, the dynamics of our interaction, their behaviour according my position. I have witnessed waitresses serving tables that are so physical aware, sharp, offer the most skilled choreography without knowing it. What people keep in their cars is still haunting me. I never get bored by the human grace and/or ridiculousness.

     I am not romanticising underpaid labour but I have to keep my sense of humour, you see it’s my coping mechanism. And though I’m not suffering of any type of class neurosis this is definitely a very deeply rooted issue that has given me several existential and identity crisis in time.

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